I was recently diagnosed with endometriosis. During a recent stay in the hospital, I didn’t have time to think about it or really do any reading on the disease. Now that I’m home, I’m dealing with many emotions about this disease and the fact that I may never bear children and could possibly have pain the rest of my life. Of course, that was the least of my concerns until now, until I finally feel like I'd recovered, or nearly recovered.
My friend Stefani told me it might help me to cope if I were to write my feelings out. I don’t know if that’s necessarily true but as a writer, it’s always been a good release for me. Of course, there are many things I want to say. I’m going to chronicle the past month and a half or so and what my family and I have been through.
Back on January 11th, I visited the emergency room with severe pain in my abdomen. I had been having pain over the past week which continued to worsen until I was screaming and crying. We didn’t know what was wrong but we were very concerned with the level of pain I was having. I actually vomited from the pain and could find no relief from the pain at all. It was horrible. After a series of tests and ultrasounds, we were told I had a nearly 4 inch mass on my left ovary. I was referred to a specialist and sent home.
Terrified that it might be cancer, I scheduled my appointment with the obgyn and found that even he was concerned about just the sheer size of the tumor and some of the blood tests showed that it was a tumor and not just a cyst, as we had originally believed. So he sent me to yet another specialist. I was horrified when I found out that I was going to see an oncologist.
My oncologist was wonderful, though, and over the next couple of weeks, I was sent for other tests. One of these tests was a CT scan to check for more tumors. We were relieved to find out that I didn’t have any more tumors and we could finally schedule my surgery to remove the one I already had.
My family and I were unprepared for what we would have to face in the hospital.
On February 4th, I went under to remove the tumor. When I woke up, I found that I had been diagnosed with endometriosis and that the doctor was unable to save my left ovary and fallopian tube. I was shocked and numb but relieved to find out I did not have cancer. My mother went to work the day after my surgery, at my urging. We thought I’d be home within two days. Unfortunately, we had to face some very serious challenges.
Within a day or two of my surgery, I came down with a bad case of double pneumonia. I already have asthma so with this new development, I was having a more difficult time breathing. I was having constant and very high fevers. But it didn’t even end there. I started having heart problems and then my kidneys were not functioning properly. I hadn’t eaten for five days but I was gaining weight. It seemed that when one thing would start improving, another thing would go wrong.
I was given a treatment to help me lose the water that my body was retaining. I literally lost 9 pounds overnight and the weight loss continued over the next week or so. I was having blood draws three or four times a day and every time, the white blood cell count was very high. The fevers seemed never ending. I was continually being checked for sepsis but my incision always looked good. I could barely walk a few feet without getting tired. My IV had to be replaced twice because it infiltrated the surrounding tissue. I’m still having pain from that a week later.
The part that scared me the most was when I was told that my red blood cell count was low and I would need a blood transfusion. I agreed to the transfusion but there were a lot of questions. Why was my blood low? I wasn’t bleeding anywhere visibly. The doctors and nurses never were able to explain it to me in a satisfactory way but I continued to trust God that everything would be ok.
After my transfusion, I felt more alive. I felt like I’d woken up. The very next day, I was well enough to go home. I’ve been home a week now after 8 1/2 days in the hospital. I’m still struggling a bit with fevers and my kidney function hasn’t returned to normal but I’m home. There’s just something about being home, something healing.
My recovery has been slow but steady. Of course, the kidney function is still a concern but I’m far over the worst of the pneumonia and I can breath normally again, there’s no more fluid in my lungs and my heart is doing well.
Even in the scariest moments, the moments where I almost gave up and quit fighting, I could feel God’s hand. I can’t pretend I never asked why. I think that’s a good question. Why, God? What are you trying to teach me? I don’t know but I feel it’s brought me closer to him. Asking God why is not a bad thing, it’s the most important thing because He wants to teach you something through every trial. He wants you to learn and He wants you to ask why so that you can learn what it is He’s trying to teach you. So when you go through trials, don’t ever be afraid to ask why.
Now that the worst of it is over and I’m well on the road to recovery, I’ve had the chance to start researching my disease. It’s been a troubling morning for me and I’ll talk about that a little more later but right now I just want to address endometriosis.
The definition of this disease is
“Endometriosis is an often painful disorder in which tissue that normally lines the inside of your uterus — the endometrium — grows outside your uterus. Endometriosis most commonly involves your ovaries, bowel or the tissue lining your pelvis. Rarely, endometrial tissue may spread beyond your pelvic region.
In endometriosis, displaced endometrial tissue continues to act as it normally would: It thickens, breaks down and bleeds with each menstrual cycle. And because this displaced tissue has no way to exit your body, it becomes trapped. Surrounding tissue can become irritated, eventually developing scar tissue and adhesions — abnormal tissue that binds organs together.
This process can cause pain — sometimes severe — especially during your period. Fertility problems also may develop. Fortunately, effective treatments are available.” (via MayoClinic)
I’ve done a bit of research on this and have found that it is a painful and incurable disease. Many women suffer from it and may never realize it.
March is endometriosis awareness month and I will be sure to support this and will be doing some special blog posts about it.
I ask two things:
1) Pray for me. It’s been a difficult time for my family and I and we’re still trying to get back to normal life after 8 day sin the hospital. My body still isn’t recovered and we’re dealing with other health concerns.
2) Remember that pain and trials are a part of life. How you react to them is the most important part of pulling through. You can choose to have a good attitude or you can choose to complain about it all the time. Of course, I know that you can neither be constantly cheerful or not complaining but how you choose to react the majority of the time is the important part.
God bless.
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